The Divorce Rate Among Parents of ASD Kids

The Stats are high...80%, 90%...as if the national divorce rate average of regular famililes isn't high enough, right? And you wonder why it gets so high with these parents of autistic kids.

Well, maybe scroll down to the blog below about behavior problems, costs, stress, etc. in our lives and you might start to understand these stats.

But honestly, to understand them, you have to BE them...which is very different.

You would have to have had the experience of watching your child develop and knowing that his development is wrong.and then having your spouse and most of your friends and family tell you you were being "neurotic"and to stop worrying. Then being basically alone in finding your child the help he needs...which more than anything, is the TIME and energy of those who love him to keep him communicating instead of spinning the wheels of little cars all by himself.(Not surpisingly,most of the stats show the spouse finding the speech therapy, OT, ABA, and Floortime, is the mom, just as the mom is the primary caretaker with typical kids)

Having to wait 8 months just to get in to see a neurodevelopmental pediatrician to have your child receive a more severe diagnosis than you expected.. and having your spouse at the MacD0nalds 20 minutes later yell at you for telling the pediatrician that there were 3 other cases in the family...you are reeling....and crying.....over this diagnosis and this spouse is ticked that his family history was discussed...ARE YOU KIDDING ME???(You had hoped friends and family were right when they told you not to worry, that you were being "neurotic" and that it was "your problem" You never hoped something so hard in your entire life)

But none of this should really be a surprise since studies show that most parents of children with autism don't recognize a problem until 2 years of age....so you spend 2 years blissfully thinking everything is fine.

Imagine, having 3 other relatives in the family..with autism...imagine screaming at your spouse after being told you were being "obsessive and neurotic" for noticing something was wrong...I remember shouting..."What is wrong with you people? Do they have to have it stamped on their foreheads, for God's Sake?" And still, he did NOT acknowledge the diagnosis or take the actual prescription seriously (25 hours a week of one-on-one communication)until a neurodevelopmental pediatrician told him to!
So until that time (September 11, 2006) I really was ON MY OWN in a way I've never known before and hope to never know again... It was the hardest time not only in my marriage, but in my whole life..very difficult, and very isolating.

Those times are past, thank God, and the people who didn't understand before, do now..and we are a happy, healthy, well-adjusted little family--we made it. Mark and I made it. And he is the most loving father. He loves Tommy completely and tenderly with amazing patience.

Autism is mysterious, hard, and unpredictable....70% of cases don't become clear until age 3...maybe that's why our hearts break so much harder at that time...after spending almost 3 years "in the clear. Hard on the parents hearts, and hard on a marriage, as the statistics so clearly show us.

However, some studies have also shown that the marriages that do survive become even stronger..that the love and care of the child, as well as their love for each, wins in the end.
And when I see my husband with my son, my heart is glad.

Count us in the 15%, please. Love really does conquer all.