I Met the REAL Rainman and asked him how to help my son

Meeting "the Rain man" in Person with my usual cry, "Help, help, what to do?"

Could it be we've come full circle?
3 years ago we would not have dreamed of watching the movie "Rain Man".

Not when you've just had a son diagnosed with autism
and one of you has just only seen a brother with it who was left behind...after thirty years?
very much like Raymond Babitt (the character in the Rainman).

But yesterday I found it at Goodwill (along with a perfect Abacus and a pair of Steve Maddens)
and thought...you know, I really want to see this 22-year-old movie. For the first time!

And you know what? It was OUTSTANDING. Dustin Hoffman absolutely NAILED the essence of autism in so many ways. No, my kid is not a card counter or calendar genius...yet :)
But the lack of reciprocity in conversation, the visual obessions with things like power lines, angles, flashing lights, abstract shapes....the interior life that seemed to dwarf all exterior attempts to bring it in and harness it...and yet the impossible knowledge that this person can hear you very well, but just isn't wired to care to respond...and the work it takes to bring that reponse as a regular thing.

Tomy Cruise's frustration with all the little repetitive behaviors of Raymond. His swearing when Raymond would suddenly run away! (been there...) His frustration with Raymond's refusal to answer questions. His initial impatience but final acceptance of Raymond's compulsions...

His annoyance with Raymonds need to spin things constantly (Thank You...)

His love....the love he developed for Raymond and the understanding of him...ok, 3 tears...right there at the end....that's all.

But for the most part, and very much to our surprise, 3 years later, WE CAN LAUGH AT THIS STUFF!!

I saw the real Rainman (Kim Peek) speak at an elementary school near the house last year, with his Dad, his sweet old dad who has supported him (and tolerated him and you might need to watch the movie again to understand what that entails....or you could also spend some time with Tommy :)....The audience got to ask him any history math question about 7 different topics. Dates, sports records, etc. He got all of them right....all of them. His memory was unparallelled in human history as far as I've read...

But after the lecture....when I spoke to him in person, I asked him, "How can I help my son learn to communicate better? Do you have any preferences on what interventions are out there these days?" and he mumbled a completely unrelated, incoherent answer that was totally absurd in view of my question. I thanked him and walked on out, a little teary.

After watching the movie, for the first time last night, I realized Kim Peek was much like a radio...one-way--and stuck in that mode with most people. Though his father was able to get much out of him because of their many repetitious routines...

But as for the movie, Rainman, I will definitely add my own real-life Oscars: a 5th...and a 6th Oscar to the original four it received in 1988. My real life Oscars, go to Kim Peek, the real Rainman, a man who could read 2 pages at one time using both eyes, the extraordinary man who passed away last week, and another (plus the Nobel) goes to his dad, for sticking with him all those years, in a way that Charlie Babitt (in the movie) was not able to do for Raymond. It really is a testimony to the love strength, and perseverance that a father can have for a very special son. I will never forget their appearance together at Woodland Elementary School.

Rest in Peace, Kim Peek. and God Bless Your Dad.